@MartinRandall proposed the following game on Discord:
Making your entire net worth go negative is pretty hard if your investments are spread out enough, so I'll loosen it to just a headline that would cause your net worth to take a massive hit.
My answer:
"Democratic president-elect RFK Jr. sweeps all red states, but loses all blue ones and D.C., after teaming up with Prigozhin to use LK-99 to defeat the aliens from Planet Rationalussy who destroyed Fandom Wiki's servers."
That would cause me to lose the 10 markets that I have the most shares in, assuming that it's also reported on in TV news.
Other examples:
"Gavin Newsome spurns presidential ambitions to build first working California highspeed rail using LK-99 after meeting a south korean scientist on Manifold Dating"
- stevo
"Andrew Tate, after a corrupt conviction of sex trafficking from the Romanian government, mounts an escape, declares himself leader of Hamas, and convinces his American fans to bring terror to the West. Biden retreats to his Bunker, never to emerge again. Sheikh Tate conquers the world, uses secret tech hidden in the Kaaba since the dawn of science to begin production of 0nm feature length CPUs in the Gaza Strip. Otolmens has HAD IT and collapses this branch of the multiverse into a black hole."
"Cruz Likes NYT Xeet Projecting RFK Jr Victory Over ‘Rationalussy’ Newsom Due to LK-99 Success”
- @Conflux
"Generous EA philanthropist announces they will triple-match all mana donations for next 24 hours"
- @Joshua
"Jimmy Carter dies at age 176"
- Ptaki Cudaki
"All countries merge to one, named Manifest. Manifold gains popularity and unbans absolutely everyone and everybot. Everyone starts betting instead of training new AIs"
- pcrafter
I will give everyone who posts a new answer in the comments that I find funny at least ten mana.
1,000"Baldur's Gate 3 wins Game of the Year 2023 as Krakatau Erupts Again - Also It Turns Out Biological Sex/Race/Etc. Essentialists Were Right Somehow" wipes out at least 17,500 of value, or roughly 49% of my net worth.
"Baldur's Gate 3 wins Game of the Year 2023" alone actually wipes out about 6,600, or nearly 23% of my net worth. "Tears of the Kingdom wins Game of the Year 2023" gives me something like 7,000-8,000 in profit.
"nVidia halts production of 4090 GPUs after @EliezerYudkowsky denounces superintelligent stock trading models"
Seriously, though, it's astonishing that these are available for only $1500 right now, while the A and H cards cost tens of thousands; the price/performance ratio isn't even close. I'm using what money I have left to buy six more of them. I've found that the only limitation to paying off my debts at the moment is being able to train models with more neurons.