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Good effort everyone -- some of these jokes were decent, but I'm afraid none of them made me audibly laugh, so I'm gonna have to resolve NO. Better luck next time!

A small consolation prize (for joke contributors only please!): https://manifold.markets/link/DMXO8ijY

If a 15 dollar minimum wage becomes law, I'm never tipping again. Also I'll start making sudden loud noises and see if I can get them to drop the plates.

"If God didn't want us to masturbate, he wouldn't have given us small sandwich baggies full of warm grape jelly and rubber bands"

This tweet https://twitter.com/MikeHanford/status/1527741266779250688?s=20&t=b698Ay3FKIz8Qrh86WxOCg

This post resolves yes.

That's it. That's the joke.

@firstuserhere best one so far

@firstuserhere ah well, not so funny when it's true

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts!

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs.

You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

@Dreamingpast This one is good but I've heard it before

@A me too, RIP Mitch Hedberg

What's the difference between a good and a bad joke timing

Why couldn't the man find his map?
Because he lost his map.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing, you can’t cross a vector and a scalar.

Replace "bar" with "manifold market" and "bartender" with "market maker". I've tried my best

There once was a farmer who had an incredibly intelligent sheep-dog - not only could it understand and follow all his commands, but it could even report back on its success in basic English. Needless to say this was a very useful dog to have.

One day, the farmer had to run a number of errands in the nearby town, and didn't have time to count the sheep in the field to check they were all still where they should be, so he asked the dog to count them for him. When he got back he asked the dog how many sheep there were, and he was relieved to hear the dog say "96" - they were all still accounted for.

On the next day a boulder rolled through the wall of the field, and while the farmer frantically raced to fix it, he asked the dog to count the sheep again to see if any had escaped in the commotion. As he finished the answer again came back - "96".

Then the following day a huge storm blew in from the east and while out buying supplies the farmer was forced to take a long detour back to the farm after several trees fell on the main road. Concerned for his flock's safety, he phoned his dog, saying "I'm sorry to put this all on you, but this time I don't just need you to count the sheep, I need you to gather the sheep quickly into the barn - can you round them up for me?"

Hours later, the farmer finally got back to the barn. He looked around and saw that the dog had dutifully gathered the sheep in. It looked like all of them, but he wanted to be sure, so he asked the dog, "I don't suppose you also had time to count the sheep?"

The dog said "Yes, and there are 100." The farmer was confounded, and asked "How can that be?! None of those sheep were pregnant, and I only had 96!"

The dog replied, "Yes, but I rounded them up!"

what type of humour tends to make you laugh? Dark, edgy, silly, anti, dad jokes?

@DavidChee Hmm... parodies, long story jokes, irony?

What do you call a cow masturbating?

@EzraSchott https://pastebin.com/p61qvDHG

your mum is so smelly, that when she jumped in the ocean all the sharks swam away

@DavidChee really destroyed a lot of elementary kids with that one.

Last week, a man got in a motorcycle accident and was subsequently paralyzed along the entire left half of his body.
Now he is all right.

@JamesGrugett Heard this one before, sorry!