"I want a big-ass nut"

Capitalism has something to offer you, too: money. Go get it!

I still have not received nudes from her, except in a professional capacity.

Ocean's 101 Dalmations

Have you seen the news? I'm going to make so much money for the Lemur Defense Fund.

"I've never had someone apologize to me for going to prison before"

Wait, did they name a trading firm after your trading firm?

Are you the jim with really bad takes?

"I do wish to talk to you, but not at the moment." / "I appreciate your autistic honesty."

I think it could have gone better if he had refrained from calling the President a pedophile

Claude, are you there? Its me, God.

If they can't afford a phone they don't deserve to make money as efficiently

Glazing is a term of art in the painting community

You don’t necessarily want *strangers* eating your kids

"Every second you're masturbating, your not working on making ASI go right."

The gays don't own the rainbow

So you're paying somebody to sign a non-compete that they will not live in another group house?

I think you can have children without talking about it

I'm about to bust. This might not be a lie.

"There are sex workers who also have broadswords"

"You need the sex workers to tell you about work life balance"

Our Claude is an awesome Claude; he reigns from US-East-1 with wisdom, power, and love. Our Claude is an awesome Claude!

The thing is, he’s autistic, but he’s a fireman; that’s almost like being British.

We're rigging the ecological studies and killing the local wildlife

“Someone got shot like eight miles away, so when that’s over I’m going to Taco Bell.”

'forgive me claude, for i have prompted'

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