Please submit extremely cursed answers to this market. I will do my best to resolve them all accurately. You may include anything you want to include in an answer, as long as it does not violate Manifold's community guidelines severely enough to get me in trouble.

I consent to any and all answers that would be a violation of the community guidelines if I did not consent to them, though I reserve the right to resolve them N/A if absolutely necessary.

See the other contenders here.