Do we get context on what the point of contention was?

@Quroe as a result of being a victim of reproductive coercion, i am the putative father of a child currently residing in another state with her mother. Before that child was born, I made attempts to reconcile with the child’s mother through my sister and my father, as the child’s mother had asked me to never contact her again. The deal I made with my father and sister was to get her a baby shower gifts for the child’s mother, and if she reached out to them to ask her to contact me to negotiate visitation or custody. They both agreed to this. Instead, in response the child’s mother offered to let my father and sister have a relationship with the child, but her stipulation was sans any with contact with me and the child—no shared custody arrangement or visitation that was court approved or negotiated with attorneys.

I still support my father through various medical surgeries and procedures as he gets older. I reach out to my sister and try to have a relationship with her with some success. But my relationships with my father and sister are not at all like what they used to be. My mother died when I was very young, if you’re wondering where she’s at here.

The societal schema that most people bring to this is that I’m some kind of asshole, or that men can’t be victims of reproductive coercion or whatever. And readers here are free to think any or all of those things.

Anyway, things have been slightly looking up lately. Talked with my sister one on one in person for the first time in several years last month.

It would be nice to live an a future where all of this has some kind of happy ending, but I’m not sure what the probability there is.

@CraigTalbert Wow, context matters a lot on this one, then.

So, first off, I don't know if opening up to the internet will be helpful or harmful -- your milage may vary. Very courageous of you to trust us with this info.

There are a lot of variables that might hold weight here. And, if any of these sound too invasive or feel like they might dox you, you have every right to not answer.

I view lack of money and wealth as a stressor that can put strain on relationships if not nagivated carefully. If anybody in this situation has financial strain, that would tip the scales against a makeup happening. Sans any information, I'll assume a slight negative weighting with the current state of the world.

If close-minded identities / ideologies / politics have been adopted by people in this situation, there may be "thought stoppers" or "thought terminating clichés" in play that prevent conversations from advancing towards resolution. I'm shorthanding with some jargon here, so feel free to ask about what I mean here. Sans any information, I'll assume a neutral weight, neither positive or negative.

If anybody here has been to therapy or has researched what therapists typically use to guide conversation, I would treat that as a positive weight. Sans any information, I have a neutral weight here too.

Given what I know now, I'll tip the scales to 48%, but I still have large error bars for my confidence in those being the true odds.

I'm also weighing how long this market has been open and comparing that to when it closes.

The biggest weight is, does your sister want things to get better too?

For what it matters, as well, I think you have the right to N/A this market at any time if you feel like this isn't helpful. I think I have a market somewhere here that I can pull out of my pocket if you pressed me to show the precident for N/A being acceptable for this type of market.

See discussion here.

@Quroe it’s not easy to answer, I think she wants to collaborate with my father to the extent we can, but other than that I’m not sure.

It would be a huge boon for me if one of them would explain why. I could accept even, really harsh and demeaning answers if they were honest. The best I’ve gotten was from my father nearly ten years ago: “I’m not perfect.”

@CraigTalbert I'm not sure what the answers for this one are to make things better.

That being said, I have found the lessons I've learned from the self-help book, "Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It," by Christopher Voss to be compelling. Written by a professional FBI hostage negotiator, it teaches the reader how to have productive conversations that advance situations towards positive outcomes.

Most of the book hammers home the importance of 'mirroring,' and how it helps people open up.

The book is worth a read/listen, in my opinion. Big recommend. But, as for whether or not it will be helpful to your life situation, your milage may vary.

@Quroe I think he spoke at Google once? like an Authors@Google thing. Will put it on my list, I probably should have read it years ago.

@CraigTalbert The opening hook was well done. It's an entertaining read.