Husband is interviewing for jobs in San Francisco, we currently live in Seattle. Baseline plan is that he moves to SF and we fly back and forth on the weekends.
Pros of the plan:
-basically dream job for him
-will make his resume significantly stronger, set him up for getting good jobs after this one
-we have lots of experience doing long distance already (~6 years)
-sf and Seattle are same time zone and the flight is reasonably short
-seeing each other every weekend is pretty good
Cons of the plan:
-we're adjusted to living together now, going back to being separate will likely be hard
-it will be harder for me to get pregnant if we are around each other for only weekends
-we could miss some financial implications and it ends up being a less good financial decision
Market will resolve NA if he doesn't take the job, otherwise it will be resolved by us in 1 year.
Bet 'yes' if you think it is likely to be a mistake.
Bet 'no' if you think it is likely to be not a mistake
Update 2025-05-13 (PST) (AI summary of creator comment): The creator has provided additional details regarding the baseline plan under evaluation:
The husband's work in San Francisco is intended to last for approximately one year ("year-ish").
After this period, the plan is to attempt to get approval for him to move back to Seattle.
Update 2025-05-13 (PST) (AI summary of creator comment): If the creator also moves to San Francisco (which is not the baseline plan), the market's resolution will depend on the reason for the creator's move:
If the move is because 'we were miserable' (implying this was due to the initial long-distance arrangement), the market will resolve to 'yes'.
If the move is because the creator 'was no longer as attached to my job and more willing to move', the market will resolve to 'no'.
Update 2025-05-13 (PST) (AI summary of creator comment): The creator has stated that the costs associated with double rent and frequent flights were accounted for during their initial assessment of the San Francisco job opportunity. This clarifies that these specific expenses are not 'missed' financial implications, as referenced in the market's 'Cons' list.
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@ZacharyKreiser I like my job a lot and we have a lot of family and friends here. There are almost 0 jobs in my field in the bay.
@MagnusAnderson I think the resolution would depend on why I would be moving to SF. If it was because we were miserable, then this would resolve to 'yes'. If it was because I was no longer as attached to my job and more willing to move then it would resolve 'no'.
@ian it's not a judgement on OP. Long distance relationships are hard. Maybe only one in four couples can make it work?
@iqs i guess I’ll bet more against you! They’ve already shown they can do it
@ian My final bet (for now).
It's the trying to get pregnant that makes me doubt it the most. In either case, whether OP gets pregnant or not, being physically distant from a spouse seems to be a potential source of regret.
@iqs and if she gets pregnant the separation might be even worse. OTOH, it also depends for how long they'll do this. A year to get it on the resume and then get a good job in Seattle might work out.
@WilliamGunn fairly chill I think?
We accounted for the double rent and flying back and forth when assessing the opportunity
Do you have an "exit plan"? (You moving to SF? Him getting permission to work remotely most of the time and moving back to Seattle? Him switching jobs after gaining experience, to something in Seattle?)
It sounds like your experience with long distance has been okay previously, so I think you're well set up to make it work. But it seems valuable to have a time horizon / long term plan in mind, especially if you are planning to have children.
@jcb Baseline plan is that he works down there for a year-ish and then tries to get approval to move back to seattle.