I've awarded the remainder of the bounty at my descretion to ones I thought were particularly clever. Thanks for the fun! 

 I'm in a tossup between my original default of Rhystic Routy, but Untapped LANd is pretty heckin' good. 

Now I just need to weigh the decision of if it's worth changing the wifi settings on everybody's devices. I still got a good laugh out of this either way. 

 Do we get to know what the final name of the router is?

 Well I came up with the pun first, and then tried to justify it after, given that the file format didn't quite work, but it was a happy coincidence.

 (much worse runner up: Google Chrome Mox)

When they ask for the password, give them five word fragments on index cards and tell them to let you know when they figured it out

 You might be on to something with making a game out of the password. I don't think I'd want to be mean or overly confusing about it, but I'll give you Ṁ10 for the idea of gamifying the password interaction. 

When they ask to join thoughtseize, say sure, grab their phone and throw it in the trash (obviously this one doesn’t work but I found it funny)

I want to name my WiFi router something witty that only people who play Magic: The Gathering would understand. 

I want anybody who understands the joke to know that there's somebody in the neighborhood that plays Magic if they notice my router in their WiFi menu. 

An initial Ṁ500 (+10 after market creation) in total is allocated for Ṁ10 bounty payouts for each submission I like.

Edit: I removed the need for people to explain their joke to get Ṁ10 instead of a base Ṁ5. Explaining the joke kills the joke.

Ṁ500 plus whatever bounty is leftover in the pot on Nov 1, 2024 will be allocated to whichever submission(s) I deem as/are best at my descretion. 

Users can submit as many submissions as they wish, but I reserve the right to not feel compelled to like your stuff. Make your submissions count. 

Related questions