Resolves YES if someone posts a video in the comments of an Ass% speedrun in less than 74 seconds* before market close, or if I can find such a video online after it closes, or if there is a reliable source reporting that it has been done.
Since the rules were not explicitly defined in the video, here is the set of rules that I will use:
The runner must start in the Wii menu with English as the console's selected language.
The speedrun begins when the runner clicks off of the Wii menu and ends when the word "Ass" appears on screen in Wii Sports Resort.
It does not count if the word "Ass" appears as the name of a mii, or any other place where text input by the user can appear.
*Technically, the actual criterion is "shorter than the one in the video." If it's really close, a frame-by-frame analysis may be required to see which one is shorter.