Me, male, 28 living in Berlin.
She, female 36 living in Switzerland.
We are 2 weeks into a fresh relationship.
She told me she’s a dominatrix but claims that she’s not sleeping with clients.
Reasons to mistrust:
She basically lied to me for two weeks about her job, telling me she was working in marketing when she was actually also working as a dominatrix in a S/M studio.
She was telling me about coworkers and clients as if they were working in her marketing job, when actually they were part of the S/M studio.
I looked up the S/M studio website and on it, sex is not listed as being offered but also not as a taboo.
I found another, shadier website for the same studio, and there sex is being offered.
She previously lied to me about other, smaller things.
Reasons to trust:
She was ashamed about it and I believe her she was scared to tell me.
She was truthful about other, smaller things (e.g. touching clients‘ genitals) where she knew that I wouldn’t like them a lot and where she was probably also uncomfortable to share them.
Info
This market will resolve to no if she won’t admit otherwise or I feel it’s reasonable to mistrust her.
Update 2025-02-20 (PST) (AI summary of creator comment): Definition of Sex:
Sex is defined as vaginal intercourse.
Only vaginal intercourse with a client will be counted as evidence of sleeping with a client.
Update 2025-02-20 (PST) (AI summary of creator comment): Clarification on Resolution Criteria:
Event Count: A single occurrence of vaginal intercourse with a client during the timeframe of the relationship will count as evidence.
This single instance, as per the definition of sex (vaginal intercourse) outlined earlier, is sufficient to resolve the market.
1,000@shankypanky If being a dominatrix is just something that she does for money, I think it’s less likely that she would be going so far as to have sex with clients.
@shankypanky I do see a relevance if the dominatrix is not merely a professional but also kinky herself. Not all dominatrices are. There is the issue whether she is satisfied wrt that aspect of their sexuality at home.
ime none of this has a strong correlation with how she may feel about being paid for sex or her likelihood of wanting to have sex in this professional setting of the salon, or with a client, or with someone she doesn't have a personal connection with.
you may have different experiences informing this of course! but I'd say it's presumptuous.
@shankypanky you are probably right in fact, particularly considering the fact that even some touching was distasteful. In this market rather than as a general case it is safe to assume it would all be business, no pleasure. I was sidetracked into thinking in generalities. But particularly in this context business and pleasure do not categorically rule each other out since the subculture is marginalized.
@Tumbles I could but I won’t as I think that this would not be a healthy foundation for a relationship
@Tumbles i am open to suggestions how to resolve this market.
I thought about resolving it to yes or no depending on how my next talks go with her.
@MaxLucid That's wishy washy but it's 100% better than nothing. Or you could also say it resolves NO if you don't get solid evidence or a confession by a certain date, like a couple months perhaps. Just gotta pick some sort of criteria or condition in order to make the market work.