Exactly twice a day, morning upon waking and evening upon retiring, I will check this market to determine whether I will or I will not brush my teeth.

Above 50% I will brush.

Below 50% I will not brush.

Guided by the wisdom of the crowd, my oral hygiene may become exemplary, or may descend into a sorrowful mess of cavities and root canals.

This market will remain open for the rest of 2023.