Will @beccapao and @AaronSilverbook get married?
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resolved Dec 18
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NO

(I'm Aaron Silverbook, the toothsman.)

We've been dating since July 2022. I used to think I was aromantic but I no longer think that. And fellas, I do find myself feeling matrimonial towards this girl.

And, I thought, y'know, this is a big decision, on the order of buying a house; I should at least take it seriously. And what better way to take it seriously than asking strangers to evaluate our relationship with a ruthless eye towards their personal financial gain?

(But unironically.)

I'm available to answer questions in the comments, unless they're too personal, or I forget.

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What does it mean to be aromantic? ;)

Do you have better posture than the AI guy above? ;)

And, in actual seriousness:

Would you go into business with her?

Do you want to have kids with her, regardless of whether you actually want kids?

predictedNO

@BlueDragon
-Uhhhh sometimes people talk about a butterfly-feeling in their chest, a tingle of excitement, a frisson of limerance, a romantic filter in which all of their thoughts about a person are tinged with little hearts and they temporarily set aside their pessimism about how most relationships fail, and their cynical certainty that all human relationships are foundationally transactional. I mostly never had that, until I met her, which I know is a dumb sappy sentence but here we are.

-It was pretty comparable posture but in 2021 I was so bored I did Alexander Technique and now my posture is better, at least, than that silhouette above

-Go into business together; maybe? We have very different intuitions about when it is correct to cross the t's and dot the i's versus Move Fast And Break Things. I tend towards MFaBT, uh, 90+% of the time. But I also ask her for help on writing e.g. marketing emails, or other tasks which benefit from, y'know, professionalism.

-I don't quite want kids—raising children seems like a nightmare—though if in some improbable timeline we aren't liquefied into paperclips and I suddenly find myself aged 70, I think I would be sad to not have kids then. Though I have a lot of biokids through sperm donation and maybe that'd suffice.

If I may ask: are you planning to have kids, what are your ages, jobs, religious beliefs?

predictedNO

@mariopasquato
M34/F31, I run Lantern Bioworks and she's a senior recruiter at Anthropic. We don't really have religious beliefs. We're both neutral-ish on kids, though she's more neutral-positive and I'm more neutral-negative. I'm amenable to having kids if we can aim a massive firehose of money at the Childcare problem like Holden and Daniela do.

@JamieWahls Thanks. Bet YES. I wish you the best!

I have no idea who the people are, but that AI generated picture is just awesome! It’s so fantastic romantic, and you can see the stars and everything. Colors are well chosen. Magic.😍

nits:

s/evaluation/evaluate

Also, question: have you asked her yet? (Or discussed the subject at all?) If so, what answer(s) have you gotten?

@RobertMushkatblat We have indeed discussed it, both of us are tracking it as a possibility, and I would share she and I's respective probabilities but I worry that datum would drown out all other market signal

I will say that she and I's respective probabilities on this are about 5% apart from one another

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