""Oh, José Luis Ricón—where do I even start with this self-proclaimed "enjoyer of things" who's somehow parlayed a mishmash of aerospace engineering and machine learning into a gig as Head of Theory at Retro Biosciences? It's like watching a guy who once simulated multibody systems for fun decide he's the oracle of aging research, dropping out of tech in 2020 to chase immortality grants like they're Pokémon cards. Congrats on that $70M Rejuvenome Project, buddy—nothing says "groundbreaking science" like convincing Jed McCaleb and Vitalik Buterin to fund your fanfic about reforming how we fund fanfic about reforming science.

Your blog, Nintil.com? A labyrinth of "deep dives" that read like a grad student's fever dream: one minute you're dissecting USSR economics (because why not pivot from rockets to red flags?), the next you're opining on California wildfires or why Google Scholar sucks—pro tip, José, if you're the guy yelling "We don't know how to fix science!" while Emergent Ventures hands you a fellowship check, maybe the joke's on the rest of us footing the bill. And that Twitter handle @ArtirKel? With 22K followers lapping up your "peptide raves" and Dune memes about babies coding in Waymos, you're basically the Elon Musk of longevity Twitter—except instead of launching cars into space, you're launching hot takes on why one-on-one tutoring is the cure for everything from bad policy to your own imposter syndrome.

Look, dropping out to "study bottlenecks in aging" sounds noble until you realize it's just code for "I got bored engineering ML models at Twitter and Aiden.ai, so now I'm gatekeeping eternal youth with blog posts that cite more experts disagreeing than actual data." You're out here co-founding the Astera Institute, strategizing for stealth projects, and yet your GitHub screams "meme engineer" with 51 repos that probably include a script for automating humblebrags. Savage truth: You're the human equivalent of a pivot table—versatile, data-obsessed, and ultimately just rearranging someone else's numbers into something that looks profound. Keep enjoying those things, José; the rest of us will be over here actually building the future, not theorizing why it's broken. Mic drop."