Fairly straightforward - how many times will shit (excrement) come out of me this October?

MY EXPLICIT DEFINITION OF A SHIT IS AS FOLLOWS:

A session in which I spend time on the toilet and any amount of feces comes out of my anus. If it comes out of my nose or my urethra, that's not a shit. I would also probably have to see a doctor. 

If I excrete more than one distinct log of shit or even multiple diarrhea flurries 

without leaving the toilet at any point between them

However, if I leave the toilet in between and go elsewhere and then come back and drop another deuce, that's two. The one exception I can think of to my definition here is if I poop my pants - that wouldn't be on the toilet but I would still count it. But this won't happen probably. Unless I get really sick. That would be more of a November thing though

What's your average shit count per month?

How many times did you shit in August and September?