I asked GPT-5 and Grok-4 to create an original joke 5 times. Which set of jokes do you like more?

1. I tried to write a book on failing gracefully, but it was a total disaster—I couldn't even get past the first hurdle. Turns out, it's hard to succeed at failure.

2. Why did the AI fail at stand-up comedy? Its jokes were too binary—you either got one laugh or zero.

3. Netflix asks "Are you still watching?" after three episodes, like it's concerned for my well-being. Meanwhile, my fridge sees me raid it five times a night and never says a word—just quietly judges me with its little light.

4. What's the deal with Zoom meetings? Everyone's like, "Sorry, I was on mute," as if that's the only reason their idea sounded dumb. No, Karen, we heard you the first time – it was the content, not the connection.

5. What's the deal with electric cars? They're supposed to be the future, all quiet and eco-friendly, but every time I charge one, it feels like I'm plugging in a giant smartphone that's judging me for not having enough bars. "Oh, you want to go 300 miles? Better hope there's an outlet in the middle of nowhere, or you're walking home with a dead battery and a superiority complex."

1. I bought a “lightly haunted” Roomba off Facebook Marketplace because it was $40 cheaper. I was like, how haunted can a vacuum be? First night, it doesn’t pick up the dirt—it arranges it to spell “LEAVE.” That’s the first time my apartment insulted me using my own filth. At 3 a.m. it parks itself in my doorway and breathes. Which is wild, because it’s a vacuum—pretty sure I’m hearing my soul hit low battery. I tried to YouTube an exorcism and the pre-roll ad was for Dyson, like even the algorithm went, “Upgrade the demon.” Sage didn’t work; it just vacuumed the sage. Turns out the only way to set it free was to get my life together. I folded one fitted sheet correctly and the Roomba floated toward the light, whispering, “Finally.”

2. I started journaling in a spreadsheet—turns out my feelings respond really well to conditional formatting. If I cry, the cell turns red; if I set a boundary, it auto-sums personal growth. I made a pivot table of my bad decisions and Excel just renamed the file “brunch.”

3. Therapy is basically patch notes for your personality: v34.7 — fixed a bug where I apologize to furniture; performance improvements in accepting compliments; added “boundaries” (beta). Known issues: still crashes when someone says “Can we talk?”

4. I bought a memory foam mattress, and now I feel guilty for forgetting things—my bed remembers me better than I do. Last night it shaped around me and whispered, “We met Monday at 2:13 a.m.” And then, very softly: “You were crying about paprika.”

5. I use Schedule Send on emails like future-me is a better adult. At 2 a.m. I’m a fearless truth‑teller, write a spicy “per my last email,” and set it for 9. Then at 8:58 that coward wakes up and sprints to his laptop like, “Do NOT let past‑me reply‑all again.” I’m basically in a toxic workplace with myself: one of us is impulsive, the other hoards snacks and forgiveness, and HR is just the Notes app.

After the poll is closed, you can find out which model is which here: